It has come to my attention, in the weirdest of weeks and the weirdest of years, that this old retired blog in an abandoned corner of the Internet still has quite a number of devoted readers – and some of you were quite a surprise to me. I’m in equal parts horrified and chuffed. This blog was my way of processing a lifetime inside what began as a run of the mill evangelical church in small town Victoria, and gradually moved to become more extreme right in its nature and questionable in its methods (in my opinion – said for the lawyers who I’m told monitor my blog. Hi! How are you? Hope you’re well, if you’re still bothering to stick around).
The lived experience of leaving a group like this is one heck of an onion, and it turns out I’m not unique. There are so many of us across the globe who experienced similar groups, similar dynamics, and similar processes resulting in us being out on our proverbial behinds. While each story is full of heartbreak, hope and nuance all of its own, it binds us all together in a community that sure helps soothe the soul when you’re lying awake at night questioning it all.
Through the blog, I grew my “thinking” sea legs. I loved it. Delving into theology, comparing it against what I was taught, against trends all over the world, figuring out what normal was and why that was so bad, and of course processing my mixed orientation marriage, deciding to embrace it while I had it, and then walking that road to where it finds me now.
What a wild ride.
I’m leaving the blog here for now, for posterity, even though the tag line about “Faith, philosophy and modern Christianity” doesn’t really fit me anymore. I’m across at www.unchurchablepodcast.com now. I also run a podcast, which has had all of two episodes go up this year but I’ll get to that too. You can find that on Spotify and iTunes. Same Name. Unchurchable with Kit Kennedy. But all the episodes and the articles I choose to keep with me are across at the new address, along with any new stuff I write.
In the future, there will be books. There will be guest episodes on other people’s podcasts. I keep threatening to write a script (dramedy. Or thrilledy if such an audacious genre exists). But really, now, I’ll admit I’m tired. What I want to do is sit in cocktail bars with girlfriends and gossip about things that don’t matter. I want to do the job I enjoy, take naps, listen to live music, love my babies and go on holidays to places that I don’t have to take dominion over or learn about things in. I want to finish my psych degree and maybe do that advanced research degree. I’d love to find love. Or let’s be honest, have it find me. Because I really, truly wouldn’t know chemistry if it hit me in the face.
Am I a Christian? Ha! No. Am I an unbeliever? Ha!…No? I live happily in the in-between, where everything is possible, nothing is set in stone, and the best litmus test for what is right and what is wrong are the simple questions of “Does this improve things for the collective? For my people? For me? Does it keep me in my integrity and keep others safe from harm?”
And if you can’t get clear on that, then you have more work to do.
Anyway. Thanks for following along at this little address. Time to shift your gaze to my new address. See you at www.unchurchablepodcast.com (also on instagram @unchurchablepod)
2 Comments Add yours
You are a wise woman. I admire your honesty, your integrity and courage. Be safe. Stay brave. Live your life your way.